FEATURE I Hate Baltimore You may know Baltimore as the hometown of Diplo, but this Baltimore resident wants nothing to do with it, and isn't helping it's (sad) case. by MICHAEL SEFF I was born and bred (not inbred, as some residents are) in Baltimore, Maryland 23 years ago. Frankly it’s the only place I’ve ever lived, and it would be a brutal lie to say I wasn’t downright sick and tired of it. It is often listed among the top worst cities in the U.S. to live in, and that is hardly an exaggeration.     So where to begin? It would not be fair to harp on one area that is lacking when in fact there are so many that deserve equal attention.     Baltimore has never hidden from the fact that it is essentially a blue-collar town. But let’s face it, that’s a term that gets tossed around about as much as “soccer mom”. What does it even mean? The likely answer would be that such a statement is a coverup for the notion that the town is low-brow, scummy, trashy, choose your own adjective, etc. In Baltimore’s case, all are viably accurate descriptions.     While the suburbs can probably be compared to any average suburbs, the areas where Baltimore really separates itself are in or around the heart of the city. You may be a visitor and be impressed with the Inner Harbor area, which several years back christened a brand-new ESPN Zone in the vicinity of the Power Plant, the primary club district. However, stumble a couple blocks in the wrong direction, and you may not make it back in one piece. If you are not being harassed by seedy homeless bums, you may be getting mugged or ambushed in a fine establishment like East Baltimore, one of the most dangerous sections of any town in the country. It’s no accident that Baltimore’s crime rate often ranks among the nation’s highest; much of that comes from areas just like East Baltimore.     So how about that aforementioned nightlife? Well Baltimore has night, but not much life. Just ask Baltimore professional baseball player Aubrey Huff, who drew the ire of fans by calling the town and its nightlife “horseshit”.     The Power Plant once was considered a fine establishment, a handful of new and upcoming nightclubs and bars. But many of the popular joints shut down in large part because of an abundance of fights and underage drinkers making their way in. Such occurrences are hardly scarce in Baltimore. The main attraction now for young twenty-somethings are over in Fells Point or Federal Hill, surrounding areas of the Inner Harbor. While the bars there don’t see as many fights and underage people, it is hardly a place to be considered classy. The state of Maryland will finally be going smoke-free in all restaurants and bars starting February 1. Since the air in clubs and bars in Baltimore is about as safe as someone tightrope walking on a cliff, business may completely go south. But at least if you plan to go out in Baltimore you may actually be able to breathe for a change.     The lack of a public transportation is a major problem as well. Yes all cities have buses, but the great cities like New York and D.C. have efficient and (relatively) safe subway or metro systems that make getting around much easier. Unless you want to pay for a cab, you won’t be getting downtown without a car. So if you can find someone in Baltimore who wouldn’t mind being a designated driver, or want to try and battle the maze of the downtown streets, then more power to you. Otherwise, enjoy a night in. Often times that’s a better alternative anyway.     It isn’t just the boringness and dangerous nature of Baltimore that makes it so unappealing. Unlike some of the major North American cities, namely the well-known ones like New York and Toronto, Baltimore has no artistic creativity and frankly, no cultural diversity. Sure, you can check out a ballgame or the aquarium, but where can’t you do that?